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An Open Letter to My Wife's Customers

12/16/2013

10 Comments

 
(This is satire, but I’m serious)

Dear customers,

On behalf of my wife and my children, I sincerely thank you for supporting our family business.  My wife enjoys creating these wonderful cookies and while the financial side of the business is certainly necessary, the emotional reaction is equally important.  The ooh’s and ahh’s, the declaration of brilliance and wonderment.  Shrieks of excitement, mutterings of awe…these are all like emotional currency to my wife.  These are direct deposits to her soul.  I think some positive emotional feedback is important to any artist.  And almost to a woman, every female customer gives this currency out and spares non-figurative expense.  While there are varying degrees, it’s almost always there.
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This is where I turn the tone of my letter.  There is almost an anti-climactic aura to a customer delivery if I know in advance that “Her husband is picking them up”.  So in other words some guy, who would likely rather be doing something else, is going to spend money out of his pocket, likely to purchase cookies for a party he either doesn’t want to attend, or isn’t allowed to.  So, you can imagine that there will be no squeals of delight when the goods are unveiled.  No pomp and circumstance.  No praise, no hands over the mouth/excited clap reactions.
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Gentlemen, I need you to step up your game.  If your wives’ reacted with an “Oh, that’s nice” to you in the bedroom, it wouldn’t go over so well, would it?  So, at your next cookie pickup, if you have to imagine that my wife is handing you a 12-pack, or a pizza or whatever spins your dials, please do.  And ladies, we’ll work with you on your schedule to make sure you are taking delivery, not him.  Perhaps we’ll investigate an “Enthusiasm Surcharge” for when husbands pick up.  $10 maybe. 
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So in closing, again, I thank you.  We hope you enjoy the confectionary art work you are receiving.  And we hope you order again.  But remember ladies, if you’re sending your husband to take delivery, have them perk up some.  We’ll all have a better day for it.

Signed,
Mike
The Cookie Widower

10 Comments
kathy pilato
12/16/2013 09:13:43 am

excellent!

Reply
Mike Pengelly
12/16/2013 10:14:29 am

Build me a kitchen she said, it'll be fun she said... :)

Reply
jason passarell link
12/16/2013 12:07:18 pm

Well said Mike. Amazing work Amy!

Reply
Dotty link
12/16/2013 02:03:15 pm

What I love about this is how much YOU get your wife Mike. "Direct deposits to her soul." Love it.

Reply
Nancy Paine link
12/16/2013 02:56:01 pm

This is great! I love it! All so true, too!

Reply
Vicki Taylor - Sweet Tweets
12/17/2013 02:15:10 am

I'm kinda digging this guy - can we hear more from him? He gets the cookie girls!

Reply
Amy Clough'D 9
12/17/2013 06:06:07 am

I kinda dig him too! He's already planning his next post :)

Reply
Marcia
12/17/2013 12:20:03 pm

Fabulous post. You certainly have a gift with words Mike. Of course, I expected no less. Go Team Clough'd 9!! :)

Reply
Jenn Claytor
1/1/2014 12:31:28 pm

I have to laugh out loud at the men picking up cookies part because how many times have you met up with MY husband??? Haha

Reply
Linda
8/1/2015 05:31:33 pm

Omg I was in tears laughing while reading this to my coworkers..I can associate so well with all this...I started my little business now in my second yr and Mike is so right how people squeal in delight when they see the cookies..I loved the part about how he goes to Hobby Lobby AC Moore and Joannes .I drag my boy friend everywhere and always searching out different cookie cutters and different packing supplies..When my daughter moved out I turned her bedroom into my cookie office...oh well I envy that you were able to add an addition onto your house what a dream..oh and by the way I would love my boyfriend to buy me some fancy decorating tips and baking pans .Im gonna print this out to read to him cause we can soo associate with all your experiencing....Happy decorating Linda of Cookies and Cupcakes Oh My Im on FaceBook...

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  • Home
  • Gallery
    • All Things Baby!
    • Animals
    • Bridal & Wedding
    • Beach/Ocean Animals/Nautical
    • Careers & Hobbies
    • Flowers
    • Food and Beverages (in cookie form!)
    • It's a Party!
    • Holidays >
      • Valentine's Day
      • St. Patrick's Day
      • Easter
      • Halloween
      • Thanksgiving
      • Winter Holidays
    • School & Graduation
    • Showpieces
    • Sports
    • Building Our Kitchen
    • Printables
  • Reflections of a Cookie Widower
  • FAQ/ Contact
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  • About Me
  • Privacy
  • Freezing Cookies
  • linkpage